Wayne James’ Manly Manners Receives Rave Reviews from Publishing Industry’s Foremost Critics!

Manly Manners:  Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century by fashion designer and former U.S. Virgin Islands senator Wayne James is garnering stellar reviews from the publishing industry’s most discerning critics.  Besides offering comprehensive instruction on etiquette-book standards such as table manners, men’s hygiene and wardrobing, and thank-you letters, the 840-page treatise (volume one of a trilogy) also provides sound advice on subjects as varied and unexpected as how to delicately suggest an enema to a sex-partner prior to engaging in anal sex, what to expect when attending a Japanese funeral or a Persian wedding, and how to conduct oneself when granted an Audience with the pope or visiting a gay sauna (with or without rentboys). And the author’s effortlessly elegant, witty writing-style is generating critical acclaim: “Sophisticated, amusing and entertaining” (BlueInk Review); “Emily Post…would likely tremble in her petticoat at some of the subjects James takes on” (Foreword Clarion); and “…the author provides a polymathic description of the world for people who wish to experience it to the fullest in a gentlemanly fashion” (Kirkus Reviews) are just a few of the compliments that have been paid to date.

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“My aim was to write a book that speaks to the times,” James said.  “As such, topics once regarded as taboo or unsuitable for etiquette books are discussed openly and unapologetically.  How could I, in good conscience, write a book on 21st-century men’s manners and not give guidance on bullying, same-sex marriage, surviving police detention and incarceration, and international customs and faux pas?  The world has changed, and so must books on manners.”

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Author Wayne James on hilltop overlooking Trunk Bay, St. John, U.S. Virgin Islands.

The book’s foreword is written by Baron Peter von Troil of Finland and Sweden, whose maternal family line has been connected to the author’s family since the 1870s—for six generations.  And carefully placed throughout the book are illustrations, lists, and charts, all of which converge to make Manly Manners user-friendly and engaging even to young adult readers. An extensive index facilitates the navigation of the volume, and the book’s tone is decidedly egalitarian and inclusive.  “Any young man can cultivate himself into a gentleman,” James said. “Manly Manners provides a comprehensive roadmap.”

Published by the iUniverse Division of Penguin Random House and distributed by Ingram Books, Manly Manners:  Lifestyle & Modern Etiquette for the Young Man of the 21st Century (ISBN:   978-1-4917-9427-2) is available online at  www.Amazon.com , www.BarnesandNoble.com , and www.iUniverse.com and in bookstores worldwide in hardcover, paperback, and e-Book formats.

 

 

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Manly Manners by Wayne James Receives a Laudatory Review from Kirkus

 

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Kirkus Review

…James’ encyclopedic knowledge of many topics, his ornately mannered prose, and even his winking tone of self-aggrandizement (each chapter has an epigraph attributed to James himself) are all effective contributions.

 

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Debut author James offers young men advice on how to comport themselves in this self-help guide.

For fashion designer and former U.S. Virgin Islands senator James, proper behavior and presentation are the signifiers of a true gentleman. This book, modeled after classic etiquette guides, such as William O. Stevens’s The Correct Thing (1938) and Amy Vanderbilt’s New Complete Book of Etiquette (1963), seeks to provide up-to-date instruction for contemporary men while also attempting to “chart new territory, in some instances addressing topics that would have been regarded as taboo by previous generations.” In chapter after detailed chapter, James offers comprehensive insight into the etiquette surrounding hygiene, sex, table manners, bathrooms, conversation, dating, entertaining, dressing, going out in public, traveling, and even planning a wedding. The author covers everything from the correct order for guests to enter a formal dining room, to how to fashion an improvised bidet, to what a gentleman should do if he finds himself sexually aroused during a therapeutic massage. With many accompanying diagrams and lists—including the Wayne James Continuum of Human Sexuality, the Seven Elements of Internal Beauty, and dossiers on various cultures around the globe—the author provides a polymathic description of the world for people who wish to experience it to the fullest in a gentlemanly fashion. That said, the book is more than 800 pages long, including the index, and characterized by an unrelenting tendency to catalog things. The chapter on planning a wedding, for example, could be a book by itself, with a 44-page section dedicated solely to properly addressing invitations. Even the acknowledgements at the beginning of the book take up 16 pages. (What’s more, this is only the first book in a planned trilogy.) Even so, James’ encyclopedic knowledge of many topics, his ornately mannered prose, and even his winking tone of self-aggrandizement (each chapter has an epigraph attributed to James himself) are all effective contributions. Etiquette is ultimately about appreciating the rich tapestry of human experience, and James enthusiastically delights in its minutiae.

A comprehensive and idiosyncratic guide to male etiquette in the modern world.

 

 

Midlife Crisis–How to Deal with it

The term “midlife crisis” was coined in the mid-1960s to describe a social phenomenon that occurs primarily in Western and Western-dominated cultures where some people in their “middle years,” usually between the ages of 40 and 55, experience a dramatic emotional or circumstantial upheaval as a result of realizing that their youthful years are fading and that old age is imminent. The crisis can be precipitated by unemployment, underemployment, career dissatisfaction, other causes of self-doubt, or even extreme grief, such as the death of a loved one.  Regarded today by some scholars as a socio-cultural construct and not a cross-cultural human phenomenon, since it is markedly more prevalent in societies that venerate youthfulness and denigrate aging, midlife crisis should not be treated as an unavoidable fact of life—even in the cultures where it tends to be more commonly experienced.  The trick is to anticipate it, prepare for it, and avoid it.

 

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Adaptability

A 21st-century gentleman must be prepared to make several work-changes during the course of his work-life, whether voluntarily or involuntarily.  And to a large degree, his response to those changes, whether positive or negative, will depend on his overall attitude towards change. On one end of the personality spectrum are the people who tend to resist change, and on the other end are those who welcome it, always happy to “go with the flow.” Most people are somewhere between both extremes.

One of the best safety nets in times of work-upheaval is a good education:  It objectively establishes qualification; it imbues confidence; and it demonstrates an aptitude for learning, all of which are key components of adaptability. Honed skills and talent also prove invaluable in times of change, for they provide viable work-alternatives or work-supplements. And a going concern—such as an ancillary project or an on-the-side-business—can oftentimes quickly evolve into a thriving entity when nurtured.  But perhaps the greatest facilitator of change is faith—the ability to graciously accept that the closing of one door signals the opening of another.

 

Establishing Life-Priorities

But sudden change can also be, and oftentimes is, disconcerting. And as a gentleman struggles to regain his equilibrium in the midst or aftermath of upheaval, it would be wise for him to refer to his life priorities, which will provide him with some sense of direction in his time of uncertainty. The best way to identify life priorities is to state them in writing, revisiting, reassessing, and readjusting them if necessary, at the beginning of each decade of life. A young man should identify the 20 most important things in his life, ranking them in order of importance from most important to least important. Then at the beginning of each decade of life thereafter, for example at age 20, then 30, then 40, etc., he should consider carefully whether he is living his life in such a manner so as to realize his priorities based on their order of importance in his life. If after careful analysis a gentleman determines that his pattern of life is inconsistent with his stated priorities, he must make the necessary adjustments to his life. Likewise, a man experiencing midlife crisis should use his stated priorities as a guidepost as he restructures the remainder of his life. A gentleman should fearlessly pursue his priorities, for in their pursuit he will create his own happiness. And he should know that at the end of life, when it is all said and done, he is more likely to regret the things he did not do than the thing he did.

 

 Retirement Careers

Though popularized in the 1940s after World War II, a review of the historical record indicates that pension plans have existed since the 1600s, with retirement provisions for the widows of clergy, for teachers, and for naval officers being amongst the earliest. And over the past 400 years, pension plans have undergone many evolutions, from being unregulated private entities to agency-regulated government retirement schemes.  But as countries experience decreases in birthrate and advances in people-substituting technology, both of which impact the number of people entering the workforce, while simultaneously experiencing a disproportionately large aging population, pension plans in most countries are challenged and are on the verge of collapse absent drastic reforms. It would therefore be most unwise for the typical 21st-century gentleman to assume that he will be able to retire comfortably on his pension. The more prudent approach would be to view a pension, to the extent that there is one, as a supplement to retirement income. As such, a gentleman should find ways to transform the things that bring him pleasure into things that bring him pleasure and income. And today, with the world having been made smaller and more accessible on account of technology and the internet, a gentleman can relax in his retirement home on St. John in the American Virgin Islands, Cruzan Rum-and-Coke in one hand, while conducting business all over the world with the other.