Everything a Modern Gentleman Should Know About the Nuances and Complexities of Male Sexuality

For many 21st -century individuals who have truly observed, explored, and understood sexuality, sexuality is no longer viewed in over-simplified, absolute terms of “gay or straight,” the former being an “abomination,” and the latter being “correct.” Instead, today’s social thinkers see human sexuality as a complex, visceral, involuntary positioning along a highly nuanced continuum, with no assignment ne of “rightness” and “wrongness” or “naturalness” and “unnaturalness” attributed thereto.  

Wayne James

The Nuances and Complexities of Male Sexuality

Sexuality is an organism’s natural inclination for engaging in sexual activity. Human sexuality manifests along a spectrum, from those exceedingly rare individuals who are 100 percent heterosexual and can only conceive of sex if it is with the other sex, to those extremely rare individuals who are 100 percent homosexual and are utterly repulsed by the thought of sex unless it is with someone of the same sex. Then halfway between those two very rare extremes are those über-rare persons who are 100 percent bi-sexual, equally comfortable engaging in intimate acts with one sex as with the other—and sometimes with both, simultaneously. Most people, however, fall somewhere within those three absolutes, gravitating either towards the heterosexual pole, the homosexual pole, or the bi-sexual median. For many 21st -century individuals who have truly observed, explored, and understood sexuality, sexuality is no longer viewed in over-simplified, absolute terms of “gay or straight,” the former being an “abomination,” and the latter being “correct.” Instead, today’s social thinkers see human sexuality as a complex, visceral, involuntary positioning along a highly nuanced continuum, with no assignment of “rightness” and “wrongness” or “naturalness” and “unnaturalness” attributed thereto. For those newly enlightened people, sexuality is an individualized expression of an oftentimes inexplicable penchant—the way people, for whatever reason, have favorite colors, fragrances, or foods, or naturally gravitate towards the arts or technology or athletics, for example. To such persons, all self-realized, harmless sexuality is valid, and to deny humans their fundamental right to fully and honestly express themselves sexually is to deny humans their basic humanity. For some other people, however, the only “valid” or “natural” expression of sexuality is heterosexuality, every other expression regarded as aberrant.

The Sexual Essences:

Sexual essences—some accepted by at-large society, some not—are as varied and individualized as people themselves. And sexual essences are not fixed: a gentleman may express one essence with one person, and, because of “chemistry,” assume a totally “contradictory” essence with another. There are, for example, men who, in their essence, are only sexually attracted to women, and there are men who, in their essence, are only sexually attracted to men. Then, there are men who are equally sexually attracted to women and men but chose to exclusively express themselves either heterosexually or homosexually. There are men who are heterosocial-homosexuals, and, as such, socialize primarily with the opposite sex but have sex exclusively with their own sex; and there are men who are homosocial-heterosexuals, and, as such, socialize primarily with their own sex but have sex exclusively with the opposite sex. And there are also men who are sexually attracted to both women and men, but more to one than the other. There are men, for example, whose “female” essences are sexually attracted to their own masculine exteriors, rendering such persons narcissistic. There are homosexual men who live “heterosexual” lives. And there are bisexual men who express themselves heterosexually at times and homosexually at other times. Then there are men who are primarily attracted to one sex or another but do not regard engaging in sexual intercourse with the sex to which they are not primarily attracted as remarkable. There are also asexual men, who experience no sensation of sexual attraction. For some such men, a penile erection (whenever one is realized) is the anatomical equivalent of the rising of the chest during the involuntary act of respiration or the swelling of the ankles due to poor circulation. And even if an orgasm is achieved, it is as related to sex as is blowing one’s nose in an attempt to rid it of mucus. There are men who are attracted to the feminine gender, regardless of whether that gender is embodied by a male or a female; and there are men attracted to the masculine gender, regardless of whether that gender is embodied by a male or a female—all the while considering themselves “heterosexual.” There are homosexual men who have no sexual interest in any penis other than their own. And there are other homosexual men whose primary sexual interest is not in their own penises, but in those of other men. It is not uncommon for a heterosexual man to declare himself a “breast man” or an “ass man” or a “legs man,” thereby indicating the part of woman’s anatomy to which he is primarily sexually attracted. Likewise, there are homosexual men for whom the buttocks of another man is where sexual attraction begins and ends. Some heterosexual men achieve their most effective penile erections when there is simultaneous penile-anal stimulation; whereas, for some homosexual men, any anal stimulation is a complete turn-off. Some men describe themselves as “active,” while others describe themselves as “passive” or “versatile.” And there are men who are inclined towards passivity, for example, but, because of certain physical attributes, assume, by default, an “active” role in their sexual relations. There are men who describe themselves as “heterosexual from the waist up,” but “bi-sexual from the waist down.” Then there are some people who are endowed with male and female genitalia and are attracted to just one or both sexes. Some people feel as if they are female trapped in the male body. So they undergo sex-change only to discover that they, in their transformed bodies, are attracted to other women, not men. There are heterosexual men who enjoy wearing women’s clothing, and there are homosexual men who enjoy women’s clothing. But then there are homosexual men who like wearing men’s outerwear, but women’s underwear. Some stereotypically masculine homosexual men receive sexual pleasure only from an effeminate partner who assumes a stereotypically masculine role during sexual intercourse but maintains a stereotypically effeminate role in other aspects of their relationship. Whereas for other stereotypically masculine homosexual men, the more effeminate their sexual partner, the better. Other homosexual men, however, regard effeminate mannerisms as sexually unappealing (claiming that they would opt for sexual relations with a woman over sexual relations with a man with effeminate mannerisms). It is not uncommon for men to be attracted to women who remind them of their sisters. And some men regard interracial sex as infinitely exciting, while others find it utterly repulsive. There are men who are essentially monogamous, while there are others who are essentially polygamous. Some heterosexual men derive sexual pleasure from having their female sex partners assume the stereotypically masculine roles during sex. Some stereotypically effeminate men feel no attraction to stereotypically masculine men; instead, their attraction is to stereotypically masculine females. There are some men who regard sex as simply a physical expression to be engaged in for the purpose of attaining sexual pleasure and consider the particular sex or gender of a sex partner as completely irrelevant. Then there are men with aberrant essences: the fans of fetish; the sadists and their masochists; the men, homosexual or heterosexual, whose sexual essence is that of the dominatrix; men who engage in bestiality; those that dominate and those that wish to be dominated, etc. And the variations upon the theme of sexual essence go on and on, and on and on again…. What is critically important is that there be openness and honesty between sexual partners so that informed decisions can be made. What is also critically important is that no sex act that is capable of compromising the physical, mental, and/or emotional integrity of another be engaged in.

 

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