Lower the Seat AND the Lid!

Lower the seat AND the lid!

For over a hundred years now, ever since the dawn of indoor plumbing, women have bullied, belittled, blamed, and berated men into bathroom submission for forgetting to lower the seat of the toilet. Relationships have ended over women, in the dark of night, sitting unwittingly onto a cold toilet rim—God forbid a pee-wet one! “Lower the [fucking] seat!” has almost become a woman-mantra and a mark of the “gentler” sex’s innate domestic superiority over their more feral male counterparts. And many women take pride in having–finally–“trained” their men, after years of indoctrination, into mastering the two-step process: Lift seat to pee; lower seat after peeing.

But the reality is that both men AND women need to learn toilet etiquette. The fact is that a toilet flushed with its lid upright allows for the spreading of toilet-borne bacteria onto everything within 10 feet of the toilet! Consequently, face towels, the floor, toilet paper and its dispenser, toothbrushes, liquid soap dispensers, shower curtains and shower door handles, the doorknob, the toilet rim or seat, etc., all get a copious misting of toilet germs each time a toilet is flushed with its lid in the upright position.

Today, the fastidious homemaker keeps readily available and in plain view, next to the toilet ( hint, hint…), a spray- or squeeze-bottle of alcohol or some other bathroom cleaner, along with paper towels, for the purpose of wiping clean the toilet after each use.  A gentleman, after using the toilet for whatever purpose, should wipe clean the seat and/or rim, lower the lid, then flush the toilet (lifting the lid after the flush in order to ensure that all evidence of his usage has been eliminated, then lowering it again).

The moral of the story, then, is: Lower the god-damned toilet seat AND the lid! (That is why toilets were made with both in the first place! Duh-uh….)  And that goes for men as well as for women!

Now—finally—after a hundred years of female complaints and male resistance, in the words of the late Rodney King (1965 – 2012), “Can we all get along?”

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